End of the Year

As 2009 closes out, I have to say I will not miss it. Plenty of good times mingled with bad ones, but I am glad to see it go. The future worries me sometimes -- my employment is insecure, prospects not good, my home in pending foreclosure, and government doing everything it can to make sure the general situation doesn't get better -- but I have my wonderful family and the gospel. So I can't consider myself anything but truly blessed despite the hardship that has been heaped on me for the past 12 months. Life has been hard for a while now, but they say times like these are like the refiner's fire. Goldsmiths used to purify gold ore by melting it in a big pot over a fire. The impurities would float to the top, and the goldsmith would scrape all the muck and goo off the top and throw it away. This "refining" process would continue, sometimes for days, until the goldsmith could, as they say, see himself in the gold (his reflection). The reason our trials are so often compared to a Refiner's Fire is that while we are dealing with our little problems, our Father in Heaven is removing the gunk and filth out of our lives and the process continues until He can see a reflection of Himself in us. The most important thing to remember while in the Refiner's Fire is that the Refiner can't work with resistant gold. If we get caught up in feeling sorry for ourselves, or blaming others for the situation we are in, that filth and those impurities can't be worked out of us, and we will miss the opportunity to have God shape us into the valuable form He would have us be. This is my Refiner's Fire. I have realized over the past month or so that I have never dealt with trials as difficult as the ones I am facing now, and as a result, I am asking God for a lot of things (help me find a job, help me get into school, help us sell our property, help help help ...). As I thought about how much I am asking God for, I got to thinking about how much I deserved it based on my faithfulness. Since returning to Utah, unfortunately, the answer I had to give myself was "not much". Living in Utah, it is so much more challenging to be faithful spiritually, which is unfortunate. So, in order to be worthy of the blessings I seek, and to be sure I don't miss out on my Refiner's Fire, I have made a commitment to the Lord as the year ends to live worthily of the blessings I am seeking, or else I can not ask. If I am not attending church every week (and staying all three hours) that I am able, not reading the scriptures daily, not keeping the Sabbath, using inappropriate language, listening to inappropriate music or watching inappropriate movies, etc... , how can I go to the Lord and ask Him for blessings? He will hear my prayers, as He hears every prayer, but He will not put forth effort to bless me if I have put forth no effort to honor Him.

I love Christmas and the time set apart to honor Christ. If you are dealing with trials or challenges now or in the future, don't waste your Refiner's Fire. Always live like you know you should, and the Lord will bless you. Maybe not with money or the solutions to all your problems, but He will turn you into the purified gold that He allows into His Kingdom.